9:00 AM
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Dearest Sec 4 NCOs "07,
Do me a favour.
Whilst sitting on your chair reading this post, recall your history in NP,
be it happy memories, or not so happy ones.
Remember the painful Physical Trainings you guys endured,
Remember the long hours under the hot sun doing drills,
Remember the skin tearing CampCraft lessons, pegging till we had blisters...
And all that for what?
To be NCOs.
And what happens after u took the role of NCOs?
This shit happens.
Is it payback time for you guys after the 3 years of sufferings?
well if it is, you guys did a good job.
Cass and I are beaten. Utterly beaten.
excellent job.
we've both at one point of time in the past, thought of giving up.
we were talking to each other, sharing the pain and agony we've experienced ever since we took on this "o-so-desired" post.
You guys want us to understand you,
to feel what you feel inside.
Hello. we have feelings too in case you guys forgot.
Do you think it is so cool for us to scold our own squad mates?
Do you think we enjoy doing that?
Have you ever thought about this?
At the start, we were trying to be good ICs, wanting to take over you, and as well be your friends.
But now, we cant really give a shit anymore.
No matter how much you guys hate us, we're still gonna take this job, and finish it till the end.
Being Sec 4 ICs to us now,
doesnt seem to give the same enthusiastic feeling like we had in the past before.
As we progressed along, we could feel the change it attitudes.
The glares, the bitch talks, the cross fire within the squad itself.
It wasnt like that in the past at all,
it wasnt.
Now we fear,
we fear of what the unit will become.
Look at our juniors,
look at their drills,
their campcraft skills,
their posture,
their attitudes.
I dont blame them.
We dont blame them.
We blame ourselves.
We let our own squad be in such a state.
we cant expect the juniors to do any better.
Besides, the ICs are also from our squad.
It doesnt make things any better.
Sec 4s, Im not sure about Cass,
But im telling you, im going all out to accomplish my "job" -thats what i call it now. (It ain't something i enjoy anymore)
Im gonna to make this POP a good one once and for all.
Miss Nani told me to take the last few trainings a memorable and happy one.
Memorable it will be.
Happy? i doubt.
I really dont care if i lose the other 28 of you as friends,
i really dont.
i will treat it like i was never in NP before.
After POP, i dont even think i will regret it.
So much about love for NP.
Now its proven to me.
Its utter crap.
Understand you?
Understand us first.
Syjia -
Having been in NP for 4 years, im definitely sure that you have heard the rule of us not being able to wear Full Uni or Half Uni outside of school. The thing that made us really pissed was the fact that you said you didn't know of such thing. It really pissed us off. Your squadmates, told me that you were remorseful after you made the mistake. But still, every man for his mistake. You did it, you suffer the consequences. Im sorry but i cant put myself in your shoes, and sympathize with you. I'm doing no justice at all. I have experienced the consequences of leniency. Once you give in to one, the others will want to follow suit. I'm sorry, but life is that way.
YongQuan -
Like i said before, you don't have to feel so upset about yourself. POP trainings are harsh and tiring. It makes you wanna scream at some people at times. Who doesnt know that. Knowing what you done wrong, is seriously a first step to changing. Some who do wrong, still want to act like as if they own the world. They don't care about what others think. They still assume that they are right. But you YongQuan, you're a guy with a pure heart. Its not something that is "easily avaliable" now, since Singaporeans nowadays are total idiot fucked up jerks. Understand this fact k? Your apology is accepted.
DaiWeng -
Your playfulness, i told you would get you into trouble some day. i Remember telling you that sentence very clearly in the past. I remember. I wasn't at the place during the incident, so i wont report about it, as i may misinterpret. But what pissed me off, was your attitude towards Miss Nani. Shaking your legs when she's speaking to you, giving the fuckingahbeng face when she spoke to you. DaiWeng, no matter how much you hate the world, the world is still there. All you can do, is live with it. Control the things that are bottling inside of you. Or let it out to someone you trust and can talk to. There are problems bottled inside. I can tell, so can Miss Nani. Im sure the whole squad can. So please, think before you act in the future. I cant emphasize this to you anymore. Its like a nag now.
My heart is shattered.
Signing off,
JayR
